All I Want Is A Normal Life

Brief: we didn’t go to Santacon after all. We couldn’t find a fricken’ suit, so we decided to get some egg nog (ok, I got Silk’s new Pumpkin Spice flavored soy milk — deeeeelicious!) and brandy and watch Christmas movies. Today, we got a tree and strung popcorn. Tomorrow, I string cranberries. Christmas BOOSH!

I feel like I’m just seeing a best friend after months of not talking. There was SO much stuff I wanted to write about… everything from the cyber-bullying case (briefly: It’s awful that the girl killed herself after being bullied by the mother… that woman -the mother- is a sick individual who should be in a mental institution. It’s people like this who make our society bad in the ways it’s bad. But at the same time, there’s no *explicit* law that if someone harassed someone else into killing themselves, that the harasser is a murderer. I mean, I could call you every day and tell you that everyone hated you and you should die, but you are ultimately responsible for if you kill yourself as a result of that… and, for whatever is right or wrong here, that’s the way our society is put together -or should be-. I can’t sue McDonalds for seducing me with trashy food that ultimately will kill me) to Mary Poppins (briefly: watched it last night for the first time, and OH MY GOSH that’s the best movie ever. I want to watch it every day. STEP IN TIME! hahahaha… awesome) to Beyonce (briefly: I love her. I don’t care what you say. She’s great).

But this morning, I’m eating the most amazing meal I’ve cooked since going vegan: a soyrizo burrito with sauteed mushrooms, peppers, garlic, scallions, onions, and jalapenos, topped with some fresh avocado and wrapped in a fresh and delicious flour tortilla. YUM! I’m watching Survivorman, one of my favorite shows (Les Stroud is my television crush). At 1pm, Santacon (Lord knows where that website came from… Santacon’s always been kind of an underground event), which I’ve managed to talk David into coming on. After watching Mary Poppins last night, I realize that Dick Van Dyke’s character, Bert, would be an awesome boyfriend. But no one is like that, and the fact is, David and I get along really well. We laugh at the same stuff and we laugh pretty constantly. No, he’s not goofy or larger-than-life like Bert, and I had to do a little convincing to get him to come to Santacon, and he doesn’t really like camping or hiking, but I love being with him, I love talking with him, I love laughing with him… I love HIM. So much so that I don’t really care if he doesn’t want to do all those other things that used to be most important to me in a relationship — things I thought I’d never compromise on. So I’m sticking with David and trying to find the motivation to do all these other things (hiking, camping, karaoke, etc) without him. He’s not a vegan and doesn’t even eat organic/sustainable meats or vegetables/fruit. He’d never even had real peanut butter until he met me… it had always been that sugar and lard concoction that they market as nutritional paste. Bleh. And he loved the real peanut butter! I warned him that he’d probably not like it, since it just tastes like peanuts, but he likes peanuts and loved the peanut butter! And he at least plays along when I make vegan food.

It’s a beautiful day and I’ve got a lot of stuff to do today, so I have to get moving. I’ve set myself up for a vigorous training program to ensure I’m in shape for the Wilderness Travel Course. Even though the “Girlfriends” episode of “Flight of the Conchords” is on, I’ve got to peel myself off this couch.

Seriously.

Off the couch.

OH and props to WordPress on the new look. Um, now you just have to get mobile uploads, hey?

Tomorrow is the beginning of the Cracker / Camper Van Beethoven Campout!!! Believe it or not, I’m more excited for this weekend than I was for The Burning Man. Cracker is my favorite band (if I have one, which I’m not sure I do, but if I did it would sure be Cracker) and I’m so fucking excited to see them live that I’m even driving out the two hours tomorrow night to catch the acoustic set and then driving back to come to work on Friday morning.

Pictured at the right is “O Cracker, Where Art Thou?,” which is still my absolute favorite Cracker album. I know, I know… purists will say that joint albums do not count in “favorite Cracker albums,” but those purists can go to heck. It was the album that first got me into Cracker (being a bluegrass fan first, alt-country fan second) and taught me the tight-but-loose, complex-yet-simple sounds of Cracker. Plus, it’s bluegrass. Plus, it’s got a reference to a tasty snack (Cracker and Leftover Salmon).

I checked out the diskography and it’s not even listed there! What a travesty! And I wasn’t sure if I even really qualified as a true Cracker fan until I noticed that yes, I do have all the songs, and yes, even some of the bonus tracks (thank you, Gabriel, wherever you are).

Arlette set up a wedding registry for me at her work, so Dave Lowery and I are going to be happy to receive all your gifts as soon as we announce the wedding. *cough* Or just give me gifts.

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Originally uploaded by Monstrously Normal

It’s 85 degrees and I’m sitting in the main house, but I feel like I should be somewhere else… not just location, but time. And I found the day I’m talking about, which was back on the 1st of December(ish) from the set the photo on the left came from. I was on the Pacific Crest Trail on a hike with Diva, who is in the other photos pouncing around excitedly. It was very cold that day and I was living up in Lake Hughes with Jet Fuel and Kasey (which later turned strange), but that day was awesome. I’m wearing that down jacket and fuzzy hat and had a backpack with a peanut butter sandwich, two luna bars, three waters, and a couple dog poo bags. There was a lot of fog rolling over the valley when I broke out of the trees. I wish I could go back to that day. Some of my favorite moments are walking Diva in the forest (or anywhere, really). I never forget them… even the most common hikes are memorable.

Now, it’s so hot that it’s hard to walk. David and I had a few drinks last night and, though I’m not exactly hung over, I’m kind of tired and clammy. Diva doesn’t like to walk in the heat, either. Yesterday, when we were hiking up the fire road behind my house, she expressed intense desire to go back home on several occasions. It’s just not like her, but I could tell she was exhausted and it was too hot for a small dog wearing a fur coat.

It’s just a matter of waiting for the cold weather again… if it snows as much as it did last year, I can rent some snow shoes and go trekking over my mountain.

Last year, I really wanted to get into backpacking. Arno (the Ex who I don’t know that I’ll ever get over) introduced me to backpacking as a more than casual hobby, and I really didn’t know how to get going on it without him. I mean, it’s a lot of gear to haul around on just one really feeble body. FUN FACT: if you’ve seen me, you know that I appear to be of average build, when, in fact, I’m of small build with quite a bit of fat… 41 lbs of fat, to be exact, according to my doctor. I’m basically no muscle and have a really lame skeleton. FUN FACT: I’ve broken my arms a total of six times, collectively. So having a helpful (and strong) porter to assist in the gear haul has been absolutely essential to a fine backpacking experience.

Except when that porter dumps you and leaves you wanting the hobby but hating the memories. FUN FACT: the relationship ended THREE years ago, and, for all intents and purposes I’ve moved on — I have a new and fantastic and truly wonderful boyfriend, David, who loves me and is thoughtful and funny and interesting — but there are still several things that trigger a vomitous response in my central chest area… backpacking and camping has been one of those

Last year, I decided I had to get into backpacking to make my own memories that didn’t involve Arno… memories that had to do with me, strong and independent, doing things I never thought I could do! Exciting! Wild! Adventurous!

So a friend of mine referred me to the Wilderness Travel Course, offered by the Angeles chapter of the Sierra Club. It seemed to be exactly what I needed! Friends to go backpacking with in an equal, non-relationshipey, fun, empowering environment! I enrolled immediately and started attending the weekly courses in West Los Angeles (this was before I realized Pasadena would have been closer), reading the assigned chapters in the book, and doing all this homework on navigation, map-reading, rock-jumping, and basically everything I wanted to know.

And then I broke my arm.

I tried to stick with the program, but I could barely tie my shoes, let alone lift a backpack or operate as a functional, independent, adventurous, empowered woman. They let me know that I probably couldn’t come on the part of the trip that involved rock climbing (um, duh). I was crushed by it all, since I was finally doing something proactive about my heartache.

This year, though, my arm is much better and the course is coming up in January again. I’m enrolling and nothing can stop me, and this time, I’m training for the course before it starts. I want to be able to soar up the mountains on agile legs, lifting 40 lbs of stuff with no effort and enjoying blister-free feet because my trail shoes are completely broken in! And so I’m training daily, hiking up my mountain every morning for at least an hour with Diva, who is hardly able to keep up.

I’m going to do this and nothing can stop me.