All I Want Is A Normal Life

So, aside from the Coffee Cake Incident, I’ve been vegan for several days now. I even went over to David’s last night and he endured my experiments with vegan burritos. I gotta say, they were pretty damn good, even for vegan food. And that’s what I’ve been finding about vegan food in general. The food is delicious, as long as I know how to make it. It’s an interesting challenge and results in me experimenting with a lot of food combinations that I wouldn’t have tried ordinarily, so I’m ultimately eating healthier and eating more vegetables than I ordinarily eat… and since I’m not drinking, I feel pretty fucking fantastic. I woke up all clear-headed and focused. I even started an OCDeeeelightful paint-by-numbers painting of some horses drinking out of a stream. I’ve had this idea about a paint-by-numbers painting for my office, so I went out and bought one and a nice frame for it. And so I started the painting this afternoon and hung around in my pajamas all day. And now I’m watching True Blood.

And I watched several movies this weekend, which deserve reviewing:

Wild Zero
David and I watched my favorite zombie movie ever last night. Wild Zero is a kind of convoluted story about a bunch of people traveling through a small town in Japan. Turns out, the town is overcome with vampires, who of course run after the only living “meat” around: anyone who comes through. The only hope for salvation is the MOST AWESOME BAND EVER, Guitar Wolf. Guitar Wolf, the leader of the band of the same name, is chased by his evil nemesis, a pervert, drug-dealing owner of a club where Guitar Wolf plays.

Wild Zero also contains the most AWESOME awesome awesome woman character in the history of all zombie movies. Dood, she wears a black and white houndstooth unitard with a collar, a belt, and MATCHING SHOES. Yes, matching shoes with a unitard. And she’s a killer shot. She shoots vampires in the FACE! Their heads explode! And she LAUGHS! Man, she’s so fucking cool.

Anyways, really. Really. It’s such a wonderful movie. Delightful. Fun for the whole family. Four stars and a bag of chips.

A Mighty Wind
I had been looking forward to this one since it came out, but somehow never really got around to watching it. And now I know why. It kind of fell short of my expectations. I don’t have much else to say about it, even. It seemed like two hours of a single joke about how bad folk music is.

And at the end, David and I just kind of went, “So?”

Dead Man
I’m a big Johnny Depp fan and a big fan of Westerns, so when I found that both elements had come together in a Jim Jarmusch film, I was quite optimistic. It wasn’t until about a half hour into the movie that I realized I’d seen this movie before and that it left so little an impression on me that I had forgotten that I’d watched it entirely. I didn’t bother to finish it again this time, since I remembered the end… and how anti-climactic it was.

True Blood
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Holy fucking shit! HOLY! FUCKING! SHIT! I can’t believe this week’s episode! Amy is dead? The vampire is dead? Bill’s new vampire is evil? Bill and Sookie break up? Sookie and Sam hook up? Tara is arrested… and then taken in by the naked lady in the street with the pig? Into a huge house? Jason is in jail for murder? AND DREW MARSHALL IS ACTUALLY THAT GUY WHO THE RED HEADED GIRL FROM THE BAR IS GETTING MARRIED TO?!? AND HE’S PROBABLY THE KILLER?!!? And Lafayette is blackmailing the politician and will probably end up dead in the next episode? MY FAVORITE CHARACTER?!?!? Oh Man. OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN. I can’t wait until next episode… and then it’s OVER for a whole season?!?! When will it come back? WHEN? What will I do without any interesting television anymore?… oh, I know… I’ll do what I do the rest of the time I’m not watching True Blood. Or go biking or hiking or whatever. But still… man, this is such an amazing show. I don’t know if I’ve ever been into a show this much before. Srsly.

And that was my weekend. 10 point finish.

As you may or may not know, I’m a dataphile. If there’s a stat, I’m addicted. I think that’s why I’m so fixated on the budget crisis… stats GALORE! Nothing gives stats like an endless nosedive in the DOW. *pant*

So it probably doesn’t surprise you that I’m eagerly watching my own blog stats, even though I don’t think anyone would care about this blog nor do I really want anyone to. Still, I’m addicted.

And it looks like you’re addicted, too… to my posts about True Blood.

If it was still on my Tivo, I’d watch Episode 5 again (my roommate deletes everything as soon as he watches it). Yes, it was just that action-packed! Jason went to Lafayette to bitch about ODing on vampire blood (aka “V”, just like my phone). Just like any good drug dealer, Lafayette tells Jason he’s doing it wrong (aka “drug FAIL”) and shows him how to do it right, which sends Jason into an insanely fun, sparkle-world filled with mushrooms and fairies (to any kid who’s never done hallucinogenic mushrooms, it’s exactly like drinking vampire blood, but without the pesky addiction). Meanwhile, Bill is at the “Descendants of the Glorious Dead” meeting to talk about his experience. We learn how he was “created,” and it’s pretty sad. And gross. But mainly sad. Sookie is on a date with Sam, who has pretty much been established as the hottest guy on television. OMG raor. It’s gross how much of a crush I have on him. They seem to be getting along well and they kiss at the end of the night, but then Sookie goes home and finds that her grandma is DEAD and in a pool of blood!

Now you know the whole episode… And it’s pretty clear that a vampire hasn’t been doing these murders, but we still don’t know about Jason, Lafayette, Sam, or any of the police force. Note: Jason still does not have an alibi. There are a lot of rednecks in town, too, but it’s doubtful they’d kill the people who were killed. I’m absolutely stumped.

But let’s just talk about who is very quickly becoming my favorite character of the story: Lafayette. I bet you thought I was going to say Sam, but no. Lafayette has several dimensions: he’s gay, he’s a drug dealer, he works at Merlottes, he takes care of Tara, and he stands up for himself. I’m not sure what the underwell of his personality is, but he’s got quite a river to draw on. If you’re reading this, Nelsan Ellis, you’re awesome. It’s not just the writing, it’s how you’re playing it.

I guess I’ll write about Heroes later, but it’s bed time now, so you’ll have to be happy with True Blood.

After being superfuckingawesome every other episode, last night’s True Blood was kind of a non-episode. Dawn, Jason’s semi-girlfriend, turns out to have slept with a vampire, which totally grossed Jason out. Then she turned up dead. And aside from other plot developments (which lead me to have an even bigger crush on Sam), I think I’ll talk about sleeping with corpses.

The interaction between humans and vampires has, of course, turned sexual. I mean, you have a bunch of superhott, very glamorous, very taboo beings wandering around and people are going to want to have sex with them… and then there’s the mind control aspect of it, so it’s no wonder. But I guess Jason’s problem with it is that these women have basically all had sex with corpses. Which is, yes, kind of gross. And added to the equation is that it seems like whenever Bill and Sookie start making out, his teeth come out and he gets ready to feed… well, there’s something weird about it. I mean, when I’m having sex, I wouldn’t want to start having chocolate or strawberries (or any other moderately sexy food). I don’t even recall ever being hungry while having sex, now that I think of it.

Anyways, on that deliciously unsexy topic, I’ve got to take Diva for our morning hike and get off to work.

Is it wrong to find Peanut from Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law sexy?

Yes, True Blood has done it again! I absolutely MUST know what’s going to happen! ARGH!

This episode, Bill and Sookie’s relationship progressed as he claimed her as “his own” to keep her from being eaten by the weirdly over-the-top evil vampires I mentioned in the last episode. But instead of being totally wooed by his possessiveness of her, Sookie was creeped out and decided to go home. Lame.

Meanwhile, over at Merlotte’s, Tara and Sam got drunk and had sex! Big news, since Tara’s pretty much Ice Queen, and Sam’s pretty much the nicest guy in the world. And actually, I’m developing a huge crush on Sam. *swoon* He’s so dreamy… for a WEREWOLF! Yes, turns out that Sam barks and growls in his sleep. Too bad his little legs weren’t making the little running twitches, ’cause that would have been hella cute.

And because I’m the meanest girlfriend ever, I got David hooked on True Blood.

Nothing I like ever is popular with the critics, but check this shit out:

For Immediate Release

HBO RENEWS TRUE BLOOD, NEW SERIES FROM “SIX FEET UNDER”
CREATOR ALAN BALL, FOR SECOND SEASON,
WITH PRODUCTION TO BEGIN EARLY NEXT YEAR

LOS ANGELES, Sept. 17, 2008 – HBO has renewed the new drama series TRUE BLOOD for a second season, it was announced today by Michael Lombardo, president, Programming Group and West Coast Operations. Created by Alan Ball, the series will begin production of new episodes early next year in Los Angeles, with debut set for summer 2009.

“We are absolutely thrilled that the critics and our viewers have embraced TRUE BLOOD,” noted Lombardo. “Alan Ball has done it again – made an addictive series that is unlike any other.”

“I am thrilled to be able to continue to work with such a talented group of writers, cast and crew to explore the characters and world created by Charlaine Harris in her novels,” Ball said. “It really is a joy to go to work every day and I couldn’t be happier to be back home at HBO.”

The Sept. 7 debut episode is proving to be a hit with HBO audiences, attracting more than four million viewers to date, while the debut of the second episode on Sept. 14 posted an unprecedented 24% gain in viewers over the first week’s debut.

Critics across the country in Detroit, Baltimore, Denver and Orlando have proclaimed TRUE BLOOD one of the best new shows on TV. USA Today called it “wildly imaginative,” with “one of the best ensembles of the new series,” while the Washington Post found it “audacious, outrageous and playfully grisly.” TV Guide hailed the show as “graphically sexy and scary, and often wildly funny,” and “a broadly entertaining, deliciously twisted slice of modern Southern Gothic.”

Mixing romance, suspense, mystery and humor, TRUE BLOOD takes place in the not-too-distant future, when vampires have come out of the coffin, thanks to the invention of mass-produced synthetic blood that means they no longer need humans for their fix. Set in a backwoods Louisiana town, the show follows the romance between waitress Sookie Stackhouse (played by Anna Paquin), who can read minds, and 173-year-old vampire Bill Compton (played by Stephen Moyer). Alan Ball (creator of the Emmy(r)-winning HBO series “Six Feet Under”) created and executive produced the show, as well as wrote and directed episodes of the series, which is based on the popular Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris.

The cast also includes Ryan Kwanten as Sookie’s brother Jason, Rutina Wesley as her best friend Tara Thornton, Sam Trammell as Sookie’s good-hearted boss Sam Merlotte and Nelsan Ellis as Lafayette Reynolds, a cook at Merlotte’s

Season one credits: TRUE BLOOD is created by and executive produced by Alan Ball; based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris; co-executive producer, Brian Buckner; supervising producer, Nancy Oliver; produced by Carol Dunn Trussell; producer, Alexander Woo; co-producer, Raelle Tucker.

Season one directors: Alan Ball, John Dahl, Nick Gomez, Anthony M. Hemingway, Michael Lehmann, Daniel Minahan, Nancy Oliver, Marcos Siego, Scott Winant. Season one writers: Alan Ball, Brian Buckner, Chris Offutt, Nancy Oliver, Raelle Tucker, Alexander Woo.

I was planning on writing a longer entry about the Campout, but I came home and saw that a new episode of “True Blood” was on the Tivo and I absolutely had to watch it. I don’t care what anyone says, that show is completely addictive and fascinating.

Pictured, left, are the two main characters, Sookie and Bill (and a dog that doesn’t have a name, but I’m sure will later be revealed to be Sam, who can probably shape-shift into a dog). The premise of the story seemed at first to be about how the vampire, Bill, isn’t actually a monster, but is surrounded by mortals who are. But at the end of this episode, it looked like poor Sukie was done for at the hands (mouths?) of a few really over-the-top bad guy vampires (one of whom had sex with Maudette, Sookie’s brother’s once lover). So it looks like maybe it’s not going to be about that exactly… maybe about how monsters can be on either side of the vampire war.

But one thing about vampires… murder is murder. Now that vampires are out and about and being recognized (they no longer have to feed on humans now that “True Blood” blood substitute is out), they can walk among the mortals, but seems like some of them still murder, which probably doesn’t help their PR at all.

So, it’s hard to know who the good guys are and who the bad guys are, but one thing is for certain: I’m being distracted from more important things (like recounting last weekend’s awesome concert) by “True Blood” on the Tivo. Bleh. Hopefully, I’ll be more inspired to write about the concert tomorrow.