Archive for the ‘self’ Category
I saw an Eastern medicine doctor last Monday to check out my prolonged illness and general lethargy. It’s been pretty disheartening, as you can imagine, to wake up every morning as if I’m wearing rocks instead of springs. I never want to go jogging or hiking anymore and I have to force myself to do so just so I don’t lose the ability to do it (you know, from muscle disintegration). But it’s been far from the joy that I used to feel when I went hiking. So, aside from my crazy barking cough that keeps me up some nights, I wanted to address the lethargy.
Jairan had me fill out a questionnaire and give a lot of information about myself, and then took my pulse a bunch of different ways, ultimately determining that I have a weak spleen. And then she let me check out an acupuncture needle, since I have an intense phobia of needles (which I’m now actively working to get over), and then I said I’d be ok checking it out just for one second. So she put it in, it didn’t really hurt, and then I freaked out and couldn’t deal. So she switched to acupressure, which is the same, but without needles. And then she gave me about a million tiny packets of herbs to take daily, warning me that they taste awful and that I should just take them in a shot glass very fast.
So all last week, I did these herbs and took the Wellness Formula pills she recommended, and, dog gone it, I feel better. Not totally awesome, but better.
So today, I’m going for a hike with Diva for a couple hours. Wish me luck!
So, here’s how this generally works: I write out some really general 5-year plans, then I struggle through some really far away 3-year plans based on the achievement of the far away 5-year plans, then I write some 1-year plans (again, based on the 5 and 3 year), and then I write some 6-month plans, and finally some 3-month plans, and then I review it all and go, “ok, what did I forget in my Memento-style approach to goal setting?” Usually, it’s quite a lot. In 5 years (2014, to those who want to be surprised by a year that looks very far away, but is actually right around the corner), I am not thinking about how much I’ll owe in taxes, whether I still have this 20 lbs to lose, visiting G’ma before she dies, and stuff like that. I’m thinking in huge generalizations like “have friends,” or “have a good relationship with my family.” But if I worked it from the 3-month out, I wouldn’t ever get to the bigger goals like “Hike the Pacific Crest Trail,” since that requires a lot of foresight that I typically don’t have when thinking of immediate needs…
Which brings me to why I think goals are important. When I’m unhappy with my life, goals give me a hope for the future. Instead of waking up every day and slogging through an endless march of shitty monotony, I know that I’m marching through this shitty monotony to the FABULOUS FUCKING CASTLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MARSH! OOH a castle! But if I didn’t have that castle, I’d just look at the grime on my shoes and mutter about how no one knows the trouble I’ve seen. And also, I usually start wondering why I’m in this monotony and start taking actions –often quite drastic actions– to break the monotony, which sometimes isn’t the best from a long-term perspective. Likewise, when I’m happy with my life, it’s easy to coast through the years without noticing that time is passing, waking up at some later time wondering why I didn’t hike the Pacific Crest Trail [before I lost both my legs in the Revolution/before I got married and had children/while I was still insane enough to try it]. Don’t get me wrong… everything is great with loving the time you’ve got and being present in the moment and just being happy (in fact, Buddhists would say that this is the absolute in enlightenment, and that wanting all these goals and stuff is the path to unhappiness), but I think I’ll be happier knowing that I accomplished many things and had many experiences at the end of it all. I mean, I had to decide far in advance that I wanted to bike the Lifecycle, otherwise I never would have started training in time. And some day, I will want to accomplish things far greater than the Lifecycle that will require training of years, not just months.
So, that’s goals. Or resolutions. Or whatever.
Last year, I totally phoned it in. Those goals down there aren’t goals. Most of them weren’t even things that I cared very deeply about. Not that I’ll have more attachment to my goals that I’m working on now, but you’ll see the behemoth task of goals when I finally finish them up.
Right now, I’ve done up a 5 year plan and a 1 year plan, but I was distracted and people were talking to me and doing yoga and stuff like that, so I missed some stuff. My dad and I are getting together in a few days for more hours of goal-setting. It’s always great to do the goal-setting with my dad, since he’s so ambitious and taught me how to do them in the first place. Also, he’s wildly proud of me and it’s kind of nice to have someone cheering and who I can cheer for.
And as you’ve probably inferred from the manifesto above, you should really work on your goals, too. I’ve got some handy tips about categories and what type of things to include.
Anyways, off to do yoga!!